It can be hard to know how best to help an older family member who has been scammed online. When harm has happened, it is not only about practical steps, but very much about emotional support too.
Here is our best advice for being a good support:
Start with calm and care
Avoid saying "why did you do that?" and say instead:
That removes shame and makes it easier to act quickly.
Get the practical things under control
Help with the first steps:
- •Contact the bank
- •Block MitID
- •Report the fraud to the police
- •Consider calling the Cyber Hotline for Digital Security for extra guidance
- •Seek professional help, for example from the Center Against Financial IT Fraud
Take over if necessary. In a situation where harm has happened, many people feel overwhelmed and unsure. As a relative, you can offer caring support by helping with calls, being part of the process and creating an overview.
Talk about it, but at their pace
Be available if your family member needs to talk about it. Be aware of shame and guilt, and say clearly that scammers have become very skilled - and that it is therefore not your family member's fault.
Watch out for new fraud
Scammers may contact your family member again and say:
Talk with your family member about the risk, and try to prevent new fraud. Make some simple agreements, for example:
Remember the human side
Digital fraud is not just an IT problem. It can feel like a breach of trust and a loss of control. Your most important job as a relative is to help create safety again.
The most important thing you can give your family member is not a quick fix, but a feeling that they are not alone. The practical things can be handled. The human side takes longer.